Always issues
The boys mock my issues. I think they believe that such issues only arise when I am drinking. They are wrong. They just only see me when I am drinking--because they are always drinking. I really worry about the same things and confront the same things and try to deal with the same things every day. They just don't see those moments. Beer and bravery don't go hand in hand. Beer and being sad don't go hand in hand. Beer and being confrontational don't go hand in hand. All those things exist without the beer. I think they would rather believe that the beer has something to do with the issues. Then they can pretend the issues aren't there. (Mine, and theirs.) Because that is really what our lives are often about--avoiding the real issues. Perhaps you can take the boys out of the Midwest, but you cannot take the Midwest out of the boys. Avoiding issues reminds me so much of the home that I hate and have run away from. I hope that you can take the Midwest out of the boys. Once Denise is gone, I have very little "real" in my life once more. I need people who can live in the midst of my reality, rather than pretend that all my chaos and all of my pain don't exist. I am truly a beautiful mess (and you cannot see the beautiful without accepting the mess). We all are.
posted by CT @ 3:17 PM
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